Like a Karmic Gun

The whole sound of the division marching on the the age's garbage, mind poisoned, poison self-imposed. Like the rest of us: permanently bored and stupid-- in my case, heartbroken by the state of humanity. Who will help me bake this bread? Dear friend, you shall come with me. If they can't keep up with me now... I come back around and ask again: who will help me bake this bread? I would not like to build my empire and have nobody to join me in celebration, walls too high-- oh never too high!-- for the glorious elite, the few who fly as angels under the sun and look down at the beasts, who whisper rainbows and better neurons meme to meme.


I met an old demon named Sally. He did not eat but only saw. He did not eat but only saw. Cause of contention is the need to eat. Cause of contention is the need to fuck. Wretched hyena, squealing cur. Sally watched objective as ever and taught me many things, how to destroy demons, his own kind, though as kind could be was only such as I was human. He taught me many things and I am still learning. He told me many things and I am still listening. Only not with the ears...


Is the human condition so hopeless? Is there little room for free will? I knew a man who came as a bullet, a cosmic bullet. Is was not my fault. It was not his fault. The wheel turns with the same momentum and disturbs greatly the precious molecules of air which in turn burst in unseen clouds, waver, float and coast onward as from a karmic gun. But if there is no fault then accountability is a sin. How could we proceed as such, as bullets to destroy the lives of surrounding victims? There must be room for accountability...


I am still shaken by the demons and the actions I took seemingly of my own volition, the Demon Queen who would dare claim to hold my life. Without a moment's hesitation, without the time to strike a flame for food, I raised my army and took charge. They held greater power than us, but we outflanked them. My brother and I made our strike with only the commanders left... Cause of contention is the need to eat. Cause of contention is the need to fuck. Was it that simple? These sad beasts, these homosapiens were doomed to repeat the same sad patterns almost endlessly. Early experience provides the road map and indeed they walk the same paths to arrive at the same places over and over, both individually and collectively. Who will stop the wheel from spinning? The Elders, I believe, brought me down to Earth for a reason...

The Dinosaur Debate

So much is there in wait, under the brush of a tarry night, new moon, to be seen when the light comes. The sun: "you should take off your clothes bitch!" The always voyeuristic sun staring with its big eye, clouds rushing out as to cover a stripped Eve after the fall. Always victims of the sun we are and Eve and the fruit were no exception. The bugs are hiding away from her, ready to pop out at the first bite. The slimy worm: "my lady, I believe we have been here before." The worm (not slimy): "fool, you'll give us away! She doesn't hear you anyway. Look at those toenails." Indeed, her tonails are very very long and still growing. The worms must watch in awe as they extend and curl into the greeny Earth, down through the generations to one of The Major Factors of Life: dinosaur bones. The biographers don't agree on most of the details, but the one point they are relatively sure of is that dinosaurs lived about 200-300 years ago on a small island now known as Tarnagain Prunk. Some say the dinosaurs were destroyed by flesh eating ants as suggested by the cave drawings, left to us by the early dinosaurs, depicting rather crude dinosaurs running from ants. Other biographers denounce the Ant Theory claiming that the dinosaurs had in fact defeated the ants in the year 1788 anno domini at the Battle of Craig. Those under the influence of stupidity (more commonly referred to as "religion") have often claimed that the dinosaur bones were placed there by Thomas Jefferson Himself in order to test our faith in the Founding Fathers. Opponents of this theory have pointed out that it's not a theory at all as it is not backed by any concrete evidence; "Founding Fathers" is a misnomer as they neither founded anything, nor were they fathers; and what's more, these poorly named entities never existed in the first place. The Dinosaur Debate has shaped most of human society; most recently, is has caused the United States of Advertisement to launch an attack on I Rock because, as the Secretary of Benign Action has said, "those freaky sons of bitches have hid our bones under their desert [...] and besides, who can trust a nation of sunglass-wearing cocaine-snorting savages anyway?" For a more complete overview of the Dinosaur Debate, check out Kandofsky's "Children of Abramelin and the Thousand-Year Bone Feud," as well as Allsore's "T-Rex Has Been Dancing Since He Was Twelve."

A Table that's Not the Meaning of Life

I just want a table that's not the meaning of life to eat a burrito at. They sneak up on you, gotta be on your guard. I asked for pine, but got the meaning of life. There's this Hamburger here (not from Hamburg though, really, oh how they lie), a little too shiny and plaster turns out to be a stack of costers. The wax from the candle is dripping over it, not how you want to have to eat your meal, plaster my ass. It has been out of my control from the beginning, living in a small convent of nurses who dress in amazonian bondage. Sometimes they just tie themselves up and wait for me to get home: supplies! Some of them are Japanese. Only a few. As I had said before, one must be on some manner of guard. The burrito was good. Humble offering to my stomach (shiny eyes christmasevelike, gee golly hope he likes what I maded for him). Scratch that, the offering need not be humble. Take the fucking gift mother fucker! Don't make me pop a cap. (Caps, as we all learned in history class, are little organs in the human brain known for "popping," effectively causing one to repeat the same social patterns over and over.) At any rate, what one must be most most prepared for is The Major Factors in Life. The Alex Trebek Foundation, for instance, dedicated to the complete unwarranted annoyance of Alex Trebek, whose deeds include but are not limited to 1) Kidnapping Trebek's wife and selling her on ebay 2) Tapping Trebek's phone, recording his conversations, and releasing them on CD in a three volume set titled "The Best of the Tapped Phone Conversations of Alex Trebek" 3) The development and utilization of a device known as the Body Displacement Recertification Mangling Headfuck Syndrome Inducer whereby Trebek was rendered unconscious and put through a process of organ compression, packing the organs tightly against the skeleton; Parasite Insertion, whereby a small human parasite is inserted into the host through the anus and eventually comes to take over the body. Trebek later tried to sue, but the Trebekies (as they were commonly known) escaped to an unknown planet outside of the solar system.

More of The Major Factors in Life to come later...

Where I Was Born

Here's an introduction that isn't much of an introduction. I was born on planet Earth. It's a rather beautiful planet from the surface, rather glorious save for the self-titled "intelligent" mammals who dominate. I reside in a region known in our vulgar tongue as Berkeley, California. It is an interesting city full of "weirdos." The homosapiens are self important; they often miss the glory of life on planet Earth. If you are as stuck to the surface of the planet as most homosapiens tend to be it's easy to believe, in light of the skyscrapers, roads, and motor vehicles, that we are indeed in control of things here-- especially if you happen to be in one of the more metropolised regions. Still, there is more Earth here than homosapiens or homosapien influence. My nervous system has lead me to believe that we are going to be living in a drastically different world in a matter of five years-- perhaps even as few as 2-3. The rate at which the homosapiens are changing and developing their technologies is increasing more and more-- due, it seems, to the doubling effect of technology and information itself. The majority of homosapiens barely comprehend the world of yesterday, while those of us actively attempting to forecast the world of tomorrow are often disconcerted at the extent of our ignorance, both fearful and excited by the potential of this species and the planet on which we reside.
One last point for now. Having been born on planet Earth I lay fair claim to it alongside the other 6.6 billion of my species, as well as absolute existential freedom-- that is, the freedom to define myself and to live my life as I see fit. Unfortunately, there are a number of ever-looming institutions and "powerful" homosapiens who would like to limit my freedom, define me with their own words and distinctions, and attempt to lay claim to the planet to the exclusion of the majority. It is my major goal to find more and more ways to bypass these ignorant homosapiens and lie in wait until their unfortunate institutions crumble as we know it. It is my personal belief that this will happen in my lifetime. Given the rate at which the world is changing, the individual seems to be becoming more empowered, and the world more and more complex to the point that these self-righteous homosapiens will be unable to comprehend it well enough to maintain control.